oh god the rape fog is back!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
