Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
