nut hugger
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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