there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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