We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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