I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
