But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
