actually, I'm a sock model
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize