is your mom at the bar?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
being pregnant is like rehab
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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