I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
