Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I love having hate sex.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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