i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
