you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Barsexuality is the new black.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
