how can u be prego again
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
