I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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