You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
