He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
