everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
