White coat. Heels.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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