i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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