i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
