I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
