I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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