Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
