Duck Duck Cougar?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
