I don't think brook has ever known best
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
