I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
