I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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