When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
