Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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