So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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