i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
