Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
