The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
