Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
where does the pee come out of this thing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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