Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
