So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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