dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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