thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize