this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
