Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
