God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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