I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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