apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
