Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just cropdusted the office
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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