Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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