found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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