okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
