Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
