her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
