Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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