Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
