You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
