I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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