I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
