My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
