member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
MIDGETS
????
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
