Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
