There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just had sex on a roof
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
