That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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